by Nils Mojem
Value Nature
As announced by the “Global Committee to Value Nature” this Tuesday, collective bargaining with the Union of Value Nature was peaceful and in full agreement. As of next year, there will be a general wage increase of between 2 and 4 %, depending on the labour sector. In addition, one-off special payments are planned for busy insects. The only losers in the wage round are likely to be the waters of the southern hemisphere: Their consistently low water levels over the last decade would have had a negative impact on the quality and quantity of their work, and so the “Global Committee to Value Nature” envisages wage cuts here at unchanged working hours if the waters do not raise their groundwater levels in the next few months.
Artificial Fruit
This Saturday, the highest body of the “Public Administration for the Distribution of Essential Goods” unanimously decided that, as of next year, all stone fruit will lose the status of “essential for life”. The reason given for this measure was that the necessary supply of vitamins and sugar has long been sufficiently ensured by the “feel-good tablets” of the supranational chemical company xyz, and therefore the consumption of resources could be further reduced by the discontinuation of stone fruit cultivation. As the chairperson of the panel Maria Mariono further announced, the “United Institution for Luxury Goods and Wellbeing” (UILW) would now be immediately commissioned to produce a general substitute for the consumption of stone fruit by next year. The question of the design of this substitute is still to be clarified and will be discussed internally first. The “UILW” will present various designs by the end of the year, which can then be voted on at regional level. The five administrative regions in which the largest quantities of stone fruit have been produced in the last 200 years are entitled to vote. As the chairman of the “UILW) stated, it is of course planned that the design of the substitute will change every two years in terms of its colour and shape.
Potato distribution
At the presentation of this year’s report on the “Use of Potato in Value and Food Production”, the “International Administration for the Distribution of Essential Commodities” announced that it had succeeded in breeding a new series of potato hybrids last year, which are now also able to cope with the changing climatic conditions in South-East Asia, Eastern Europe and Scandinavia and – according to Maria Marion, Chairperson of the (IVDLG) literally – “will also be able to cope with the extreme heat and drought of this region.” Specifically, these are two different types of potato hybrids: While one series of these new tubers ¬- Papa231XL – is intended for food production and its nutritional value could be increased by 20% compared to the previous series, the potato series Papa778iA was manipulated in such a way that the tuber hybrids produce more of the substances x y and z necessary for biological plastic production, in order to better satisfy the resource needs of the respective regions in this field as well. The IDVLG also announced that only the Papa231XL series will be freely available in the distribution centres. As usual, civic associations, individual farmers and “companies for the supply of the population” can receive the tubers of this series with the corresponding certificate for the use of land in the community sector.
However, access to the new potato series for plastic production is reserved for industrial producers, as “the supply of society with raw materials and end products that do not serve the necessary life support” is the responsibility of industry.